Vanessa Hudgens

He yelled at me, so I yelled at him. Now he won\’t speak to me?

12/18/11

Last night we went to the movies in the mall, something we never do. Afterward we were walking through the mall and I said to him, “hey, the mall is still open, why don’t we walk around?” He, as usual, was walking in front of me, like he always does. I didn’t hear his reply, it was noisy. So I said ” what?” He turned around and barked “NO” at me in front of everyone passing by. This has happened before over the past ten year, him blowing up or melting down in public. I’ve talked him to him about it but – he keeps doing it. So, since he was walking ahead of me, which I hate, I let him stroll on without realizing I wasn’t there. I lingered a bit and put on my coat, and came out to the car 2 minutes later.

As I walked to the car, I felt like it was surreal, because I knew I was going to let him have it. I stared straight ahead and walked directly in front of him, and stopped short of his nose. I told him, very plainly, that he is NEVER do to that in public again, raise his voice at me like that. I told him that if he ever did it again, I would make sure he regretted it. He said, bring it on. I wasn’t about to be intimidated, I was mad and was pushing forward.

Right there in the mall parking lot, I gave him hell. I said that these tantrums in public were unacceptable and they cannot happen again. I said what if one of my co-workers or subordinates were nearby and heard you yelling at me like that? If you damage my reputation at work I will kill you. SECOND of all, I’m not your LACKEY, I’m not your EMPLOYEE, and I’m not even your WIFE, I am your PARTNER and will be treated with respect at ALL TIMES. Is that clear? He says, “yeah but you…” I cut him off. I wasn’t asking what I did, I asked him again if it was clear. Fine, he says, he takes his pocket knife out of his pocket, opens it up and hands it to me and says kill me now. I said no, I’m not here to kill you, I’m here to make sure you understand that the next time you yell at me in public, it’s ON. Do we understand eachother? He’s silent. Do we underSTAND eachother? Finally he says yes. I say “ok then” and unlock the car, and go walk in the parking lot for ten minutes to blow off the anger and shaking. People are around, watching the whole thing, watching me walk around, watching him get into the car. I didn’t care, I was furious, and I was making a point that wouldn’t wait.

I got into the car and drove us home. At home an hour later, I poked him gently in the arm with the remote and he snickered. I put my hand out for him to shake it but he wouldn’t. I said shaake….. c’mon shaaaake…. he wouldn’t. But he giggled and I giggled and all seemed ok. But he didn’t talk to me the rest of the night.

Now it’s Sunday afternoon and he won’t come downstairs from the bedroom. It’s 4:00 so I’ve been down here all day by myself. I don’t feel like apologizing, maybe for having a fit in public but generally I think I got my message across. Actually I don’t feel like apologizing at all. Sometimes I think you have to get into a man’s grill to make your point and that’s what I did.

But now he’s not speaking, and frankly I don’t even care – I like having the TV and the house to myself. Let him stew up there. What is he waiting for me to come coddle and coo him to make it all better? Fuckit, what’s done is done.

But what should I do when he comes down? Ignore him until he lightens up? Stand my ground? Apologize?

Twilight:Breaking Dawn was fabulous by the way. Too bad he ruined it afterward with his tantrum.